Living Through the Aftermath of My Mom’s Suicide

I was twelve when my mom killed herself. My parents were divorced. My dad was remarried and lived nearby. My older brother lived in his own apartment, so it was just me and my mom making our way.

She sometimes left me home alone when she went out drinking. I begged her to stay home, but she would only promise to be home by a certain time. My neediness was useless to change anything.

I slept at my dad’s house the night my mom died. More accurately, I moved in. A few blocks were all that separated the houses—a slight but infinite distance. This time the sleepover wouldn’t end. When the sun rose I wouldn’t have a home to return to. Home as I knew it had vanished. Continue reading Living Through the Aftermath of My Mom’s Suicide

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I’m on The Huffington Post Twice Today!

I have been writing all my life, in some form or another, but today is very special because I’m published in The Huffington Post for the first time. I think back to all the great teachers I’ve had through the years from Mrs. Clinkscales in first grade, to my senior year with Mrs. Thompson, all that hard work is beginning to pay off and I am grateful for every step along the way. Continue reading I’m on The Huffington Post Twice Today!

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“Show the Love” GIVEAWAY!

One lucky winner will be announced at 12 noon CST on Sunday, February 14, 2016, on my Facebook page. The winner will receive a gift basket, including:
•a copy of the book “Some Things You Keep” by JJ Landis
•a gift pack of a 4oz Red Hot wine Jelly and a snack bag of homemade heart shaped ginger snaps from True Vine Gifts
•a copy of “A Place Called Grace” by Kingwood Worship
•an inspirational print by Klocke Photography.
Continue reading “Show the Love” GIVEAWAY!

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Happiness is the Enemy of Joy

It has been said that Hope is an anchor for the soul. And I think Joy is the rope that secures us. Joy isn’t always smiles and bright eyes. Joy is a connector. Through Scripture, Sacraments, and my local faith community, Joy connects me back to the Hope that steadies me when the seas begin to swell and I feel tossed and tumbled by waves of anxiety. Continue reading Happiness is the Enemy of Joy

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Time Travel, Potatoes, and Grace

For months, my counselor and I worked toward dealing with my emotions instead of shoving them down into the acid that sat in my belly along with all the bad memories. At the bottom of all the junk in my soul, I found grace, resolve, understanding, and forgiveness — for my mom, for my ex-husband, but most of all, for me. Continue reading Time Travel, Potatoes, and Grace

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Pastor, Psych Ward, Crazy Good Parent

Janice Lindegard says, “Crazy Good Parent was born out of my frustration at looking for support as a parent with a mental illness. This is meant to be a supportive place, but also one with a sense of humor. No need to be stiff or formal.”

I spent months, trying to figure out the perfect story to submit to Crazy Good Parent, and when I thought I had found that post, I sent it over. When Janice responded, wanting to tell the updated version of my story, three years later, I was surprised and grateful.

Join me on Crazy Good Parent! Continue reading Pastor, Psych Ward, Crazy Good Parent

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I’ll Stop Watching Porn When…

All through middle school, I thought, I’ll stop watching porn when I get in high school. I was convinced that older guys didn’t need to watch it.

When I made it to high school, my plan became to no longer watch pornography once I found a serious girlfriend. In reality, I dated the same girl all through high school and that’s when porn became solidified as my escape. I went to porn when I was lonesome or frustrated with her. Even though I was a star student and a role model in my youth group, this secret addiction was my constant companion.
Continue reading I’ll Stop Watching Porn When…

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