Lindsey stepped into the circle with me. She recognized my shame and fear. She knew my painful secrets. In the face of shame, my wife became the voice of grace. She dared anyone holding stones to first look in the mirror before they threw the first at me. When others pushed me out, she pulled me closer. Grace has a way of doing just that: when judgment divides, grace draws near.
When I take my last breath on earth, won’t be thinking of metrics and stats. I pray to God I won’t be thinking of my failures of any sort of disappointment I ever faced, but instead of all the small things. The time I took to breathe. To kiss my son on the forehead. To reach across the kitchen table and hold my wife’s hand. To notice the way a baby smells behind the ears. These tiny moments are the ones that matter the most to me now.
We’ve been married 9 years, together for a decade. 2 kids, a dog, and piles of student loans. Here’s our honest look at how to have a great marriage.
I’m divorced. Well, not really. I’m now married. Happily, with five kids. But I have been divorced, or, more appropriately, have gone through a divorce. There’s a difference.
The past does not define us. Divorce, in particular, is not a label.
Many Christians disagree. Many Christians deem divorce the mark of death, the breaking of God’s covenant, the dreaded scarlet letter. It’s one of those ‘sins’ that is given greater weight than others – like, you know, killing people, being gay, having loads of premarital sex – and, likewise, damns those who go through it to raw ditch pits and hellfire.
I couldn’t tell you exactly how many weddings I’ve attended, but I can tell you how many have actually meant something to me. The answer is four. Four weddings where I was in full emotional and spiritual support of the couple coming together before God and their dearest loved ones. The most recent was this wedding that I had the privilege of officiating. I opened up the moment with these words: “I’m pretty sure that by law I have to ask if anyone opposes this wedding… but the real question is, ‘who is wildly excited about this moment?’”
After the brides and I wiped tears from our eyes, we moved forward in the most emotional, supportive, and spiritual wedding I’ve ever been part of. When the only people present are core relationships, you cannot help but be moved.
I launched a new website a few weeks ago. As part of the launch, I created The Writer’s Toolkit. I’ve also been working on two other e-course projects simultaneously. At the same time, I’ve been trying to improve my numbers at my day job, while also helping with husband and Daddy duties. Instead of feeling great about all of these new projects, I’ve felt entirely overwhelmed and inadequate. So what do you do when you want to change the world in an instant but have days when you feel like you can’t keep up? Here’s four simple ways…
We’ve been married nine years today. During that time, we’ve done a lot of living. We’ve learned some beautiful and some painful lessons. We’ve each spent a week on a psych ward. We’ve had two babies. We’ve led two youth groups. We’ve nearly divorced at least once. And we have only just begun to learn what truly matters in life.
One thing is for sure, there are several things no one tells you before you walk down that aisle.