What is one supposed to do, on the day they become a Democrat? I wondered. Did I need to change my profile picture to the image of the red, white, and blue “H”? Should I become vegan? Would I have to put one of those bumper stickers with all the pagan symbols on my car? More important, do I need to have a closed-door meeting with my pastor, so I can confess? I couldn’t imagine there being much worse.
At the age of twenty, I had all the answers. I remember judging a family member’s addiction, a classmate’s smoking problem, and being shocked that an unmarried girl in our program got pregnant. She was quickly expelled. It was the only right thing to do.
In those days, grace was cut and dried.
Today, Senator Harry Reid said Donald Trump couldn’t pass the U.S. naturalization test. My curiosity got the best of me and I decided to take an online naturalization quiz. I scored 96%!
Since I had so much fun, I created a quiz of my own, just for you. If you’d like to test yourself, answer the following 15 questions without cheating (no Google!) and leave your score in the comments!
When asked about sexual harassment in the workplace as it might pertain to his daughter, Donald Trump said, “I would like to think she would find another career or find another company if that was the case.” So Trump’s daughter, Ivanka, a very wealthy and educated woman, could just quit and find herself another job but what about the rest of us? Most women can’t as easily quit and find gainful employment. What about single moms, or poor women, or elderly women who can’t go without a paycheck for any length of time?
I just knew the Henchmen of Heaven would come and steal me away in the middle of the night as a thirteen-year-old and damn me to eternal punishment early because I’d said “shit” or been caught lingering too long on the adult movie channels late at night at my grandparents’ house. Any 90’s boy knows exactly what I’m talking about: the high numbers on satellite, blurred out, with the fuzzy green and pink lines. Every once in awhile you could catch the shadow of a boob if you just stared hard enough.
The Bible says Jesus gave the Sermon on the Mount once he saw his ministry really beginning to grow. He was drawing large groups by this time and his disciples had proven they were in for the long haul. So as the people crowded in, Jesus gave a talk on what it really means to be blessed.
Maybe you’re new to my blog or new to Christianity. Maybe they’ve never made any sense to you, either. But after spending time with them, I think I get it better than I did. Here’s my version of the Beatitudes…
Beginning August 5th in Rio, the world will be introduced to a new group of superheroes. At the 2016 Olympics, there will be 10,500 athletes competing, but the world will be watching 10 in particular. For the first time ever, the International Olympic Committee has chosen a refugee team to compete.