“I don’t know why I’m about to tell you this, but ever since you shared your story, I knew I had to talk to you.” This was the first time someone I knew personally reached out to me, after reading the story of my recovery from a suicide attempt. It’s been a few years since […]
In this Episode of the #AskSteveAustin Podcast, I get honest about my struggles during the Easter season. I talk about Jesus, the Cross, and the Resurrection. I ask the question, “What the hell do we do with Jesus?” I talk about faith, doubt, atheism, Christianity, and feeling stuck somewhere in-between. I talk about attending an […]
I don’t like being a Christian today. Actually, I should say, I don’t like most Christians today. Wait. What I really mean is, I don’t want to fight with Christians anymore. I was once a youth pastor, a speaker, a worship leader, an avid blogger, and a radio host. Everything that entered my brain was […]
As most of you know, Robert Vore and I launched the CXMH Podcast: A Podcast at the Intersection of Christianity and Mental Health a few months ago. We are so excited to announce what we hope will become an amazing annual event, “Liturgy of the Forsaken: A Night of Stories and Struggle,” which will take place […]
“Those who love me come from every system that exists. They were Buddhists or Mormons, Baptists or Muslim, Democrats, Republicans, and many who don’t vote or are not part of any Sunday morning religious institutions. I have followers who were murderers and many who were self-righteous. Some were bankers and bookies, Americans and Iraquis, Jews […]
I’ll never forget my first experience with a “crisis of faith”. It was about fourteen years ago, during my second year of ministry school. I’d been having questions for a couple of years, and one day in Bible class, all my suspicions came to a head. I knew I couldn’t go on, ignoring that gnawing in the secret places of […]
Four years ago, I was a youth pastor, sign language interpreter, wedding photographer, radio host, husband, and father. In that order. My weeks were full of activity: long days and long nights were the norm. I worked in a school full-time, had after-school activities with the student I interpreted for, had a radio show Tuesday and Friday nights, church activities Wednesday night and all day Sunday, and my Saturdays were consumed with photoshoots or youth group activities, or both. People wondered how I could keep so many plates spinning, and in my religious fervor, I judged their lack of busyness. The only thing worse than a Democrat, in my humble opinion, was a lazy church person.
My wife begged for attention, my friends constantly complained that I was missing in action, and my anxiety was through the roof. But what could I possibly do about it, other than pop a little white pill and hope nobody found out. I had bought into the lie that it was my job to save the whole world. If not me, then who? Souls were at stake! Lives were hanging in the balance and who could possibly sleep when the blood of someone’s eternal damnation would be on my hands?