In the early days of recovery, it feels like you have such little control over anything. But self-care makes recovery possible.
Those who found me thought it was a murder scene. Apparently the pink Benadryl pills, along with the tens of thousands of other milligrams of prescriptions and over-the-counter medications I took, made it look like blood. They thought I was dead and I should have been. I wanted to be. I had been unconscious nearly twelve hours.
The one flash I have of coming to was being transferred by the medical personnel from the gurney to the hospital bed. Everything was colored white except the navy of the nurse’s scrubs. I’m assuming it was in the ER.
I remember them cutting my clothes off and it was all like a nightmare. I couldn’t respond but I remember them counting, 1…2…3… before lifting me up and over. And what emotion do I remember from that? Shame. Ashamed of being naked. I had never been more vulnerable.
Join me today for a conversation about shame with Todd Littleton. And check out this post for a HUGE sale on my books, THIS WEEKEND ONLY!
A culture that diminishes sexual violence is indelibly linked to my experience. I still have days when I find myself thinking, at least it was only once. While I am thankful I was only raped one time, the truth is it’s never only once. I’ve been haunted by the memories of that moment my entire life. The effects of abuse ripple out to impact relationships, decisions, habits, and my sense of self every single day.
Fatherhood is the greatest gift in the world. And some very hard work. But I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.
I’m thrilled to tell you that my brand-new book, co-authored with Kate Pieper, LMFT, is now available on Amazon! Self-Care for the Wounded Soul has been called a gift that keeps on giving.
Abuse, addiction, and a suicide attempt weren’t the end of Steve Austin’s story. In fact, a suicide attempt is where Steve’s life began. Watch the video today!