Since my suicide attempt, I’ve worked hard to focus on my recovery and have learned invaluable self-care tips and tricks. As a pastor, I’ve also noticed several places in the Bible where self-care is promoted.
Mental Health on The Mighty asked to turn my self-care manifesto into a video! Check it out!
Those who found me thought it was a murder scene. Apparently the pink Benadryl pills, along with the tens of thousands of other milligrams of prescriptions and over-the-counter medications I took, made it look like blood. They thought I was dead and I should have been. I wanted to be. I had been unconscious nearly twelve hours.
The one flash I have of coming to was being transferred by the medical personnel from the gurney to the hospital bed. Everything was colored white except the navy of the nurse’s scrubs. I’m assuming it was in the ER.
I remember them cutting my clothes off and it was all like a nightmare. I couldn’t respond but I remember them counting, 1…2…3… before lifting me up and over. And what emotion do I remember from that? Shame. Ashamed of being naked. I had never been more vulnerable.
Join me today for a conversation about shame with Todd Littleton. And check out this post for a HUGE sale on my books, THIS WEEKEND ONLY!
A culture that diminishes sexual violence is indelibly linked to my experience. I still have days when I find myself thinking, at least it was only once. While I am thankful I was only raped one time, the truth is it’s never only once. I’ve been haunted by the memories of that moment my entire life. The effects of abuse ripple out to impact relationships, decisions, habits, and my sense of self every single day.