I will never forget how cold the tile floor was on that hot September afternoon, as I slid down the wall of ICU room number six.
The statement that made my knees buckle, as I stood at the end of that hospital bed, was, “No, I did not mix up my medicine. I wanted to die. I do not want to be here any more.”
My clearest thought was how I was not enough. But if not me, how was our beautiful baby boy not enough to make my husband want to stay? I wondered how I could possibly face family and friends at our son’s first birthday party the next day, alone. I wondered if I would spend the rest of my life the very same way.Read More
After Ben’s birth in September 2011, I suffered from severe sleep deprivation, psychosis, and postpartum depression.
It was the darkest time in my life. I was hospitalized for nearly 2 weeks and separated from my newborn for most of that time. The situation was completely beyond my control but I felt so much shame over it. With the help of good doctors and my amazing family I began to recover and finally feel like myself again.
This is a guest post by someone I think the world of. The author asked to remain anonymous for now, and I completely respect that decision. We are all at different points in our journey. –Steve I am a perfect person. Well, if you ask just about anyone. I was the kid that teachers adored […]Read More
This week has personally been the hardest week I have had in more than a year. I was wounded by someone very close to me: someone who has been shown quite a lot of grace. It really hurt. I was shocked and stunned and all I wanted to do was run far away. I wanted to […]Read More
Standing in the ultrasound room recently with my bride, my little boy, my mother-in-law, and our precious friends Zane and Hannah was (as Zane put it) “surreal”. Toes, fingers, ears, eyes, lips, so many details…Ribs were clearly seen and I was fascinated with the baby’s spine. The anticipation was high, waiting to hear if it was […]Read More